The Secret She's Kept
by My Quiet Riot
Summary: Ever since Kara came into her life, Alex has kept her sister's secret. But unknown to Kara, Alex has a secret of her own. (Terrible summary, but this is basically a one-shot of teenage Alex and Kara talking, and Alex comes out.)


Hi guys! So this is my very first Supergirl fanfiction. I've written for Grey's Anatomy, the Walking Dead Game, Hunger Games, and Cause of Death (an old game that isn't around anymore), but I've never tried my hand at a Supergirl fanfic. The inspiration for this story comes from the scenes in 2x6 where Alex comes out to Kara. I love those scenes so much, but then I got to thinking: What would it have been like if they had talked about it way earlier? Say, childhood? So this story is about teenage Alex and Kara. I'm not sure if the show mentions how much older Alex is than Kara (if it did, I missed it). But say Alex is late middle school/early high school, and Kara is in middle school. This isn't perfect but I wrote it in the middle of the night, haha. Also, this is a one-shot!

Please let me know what you think in a review! I would love to hear from you. (:

* * *

It was late at night—technically early morning—when Kara woke up to get a drink of water and realized Alex wasn't asleep in her bed. In fact, she realized after looking around, she wasn't in their room at all. She tried not to think much of it as she made her way down the stairs as quietly as possible; but on her way back up, curiosity won over her urge to go back to bed. She took a sip of water and set it down on her bedside table, then quietly walked over to one of the large windows in their room. She wasn't surprised when she glimpsed Alex outside on the roof, lying down and staring up at the stars. It was a place she went to often, and this wasn't the first night Kara had woken up and seen her sister perched on the roof. Most of the time she just went back to bed, because she wasn't much of a night person. But sometimes, she would join Alex on the roof and they would talk.

She really did love those nights, when she could get herself to stay awake for them. There was something so intimate and special about nighttime, when the sky is black and the world is asleep, and the only noises to be heard are crickets and the breeze blowing through the trees. It was nice to be able to talk to someone who knew her secret, who knew _her_. She did have other friends, and she fit in relatively fine with her peers despite her hidden superpowers. But most of the time, Alex was the only reason she felt at home on this planet that wasn't originally hers.

"Hey," Kara greeted softly as she climbed out the window and stepped onto the roof.

Alex jumped slightly and turned around, but relaxed a bit when she saw it was Kara. "Oh, hi. You scared me."

"Sorry," Kara apologized. "Whatcha doin'?"

"Couldn't sleep," she shrugged, gaze remaining upwards. She really wasn't in the mood to talk tonight. Not because she hated the long nights talking with her sister, because she really didn't mind. But sometimes, she just wanted to be alone. If she were being honest, though, sometimes she resented Kara. She hated that she felt that way, but she couldn't help it. For most of her life, it had just been Alex, her mom, and her dad. Then all of a sudden, Kara pops in with all these super powers and secrets, and suddenly Alex just felt so... insignificant. Her parents were always focused on Kara and how she was doing in school and with their peers. She understood why they were concerned, and she wasn't mad about that. But sometimes, it felt like she faded into the background. Before, Alex was the only child and the pride and joy of her parents. She had a lot of friends, she was smart, and she got good grades—pretty much everything a parent could hope for in a child. But once Kara and her super powers came into the picture, academic and social success just didn't seem special anymore.

Now that was not to say that she didn't love her sister, because she did. She really did love Kara, and she was glad their parents were concerned about her fitting in and adjusting to Earth. She knew, deep down, that it wasn't by any fault of her sister's, either. It's not like she asked to be born on one planet and be shipped off to a totally different one. But sometimes she felt like nothing she did, nothing she could _ever_ do, would be able to measure up to Kara. That wasn't a fair thought and she knew it, but some nights she just couldn't help but feel down about it.

"You okay?" Kara asked, noticing Alex was being quieter than normal. Usually she'd be a little more chatty.

Alex nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"Okay," she shrugged, letting it go for the time being. She sat down beside Alex and laid back against the roof. It was a beautiful night out—one of the nicest they'd seen in awhile. It was cool but not too cold, and the sky was cloudless and illuminated by thousands of tiny, sparkling stars.

They were both silent for several minutes, each staring upwards in awe of the celestial bodies above them. "The sky never ceases to amaze me," Kara stated quietly, breaking the human silence. "I mean, I know I've literally traveled through it, but it's just so... big."

"Yeah," Alex agreed half-heartedly.

"Do you ever just look at the something and feel so small in comparison? Like the sky."

 _More often than you'd think,_ Alex thought silently, keeping her gaze pointed upwards. _Sometimes I look at you, and that's exactly how I feel._ "Yeah, sometimes," was all she managed in response.

"It just makes you realize how big the universe really is, and how small you are in comparison. It makes me feel kind of lonely," Kara admitted, gazing up longingly at the stars, as if they could somehow be her friends.

Alex turned her head to look at her sister for the first time that night. "You're not alone," she reassured. "You have me."

Kara smiled. "I know. Thanks, Alex." Alex returned the smile, and they both resumed staring upwards. Both siblings were silent for a few moments, enjoying the night air and the sounds that came with it.

"We never talk about you," Kara stated suddenly, once again turning her head sideways to look at her sister.

"What?" Alex asked, confused at the sudden change of topics.

"We never talk about you," Kara repeated, sitting up and looking down at Alex.

Alex sat up a few moments later. "What do you mean?"

"All these nights we've sat up talking and sharing secrets... it's all about me and my secret. There's never room for you. I'm so sorry, Alex."

Alex sat silent, stunned for a few moments, staring at her sister. "I... It's no big deal, Kara," she finally said, once again turning her head back to the stars. "Really. I don't mind."

"No, it _is_ a big deal. You always ask me how I am, and we always talk about me and my problems. But I just realized I never ask about you. We never talk about your problems."

"Who says I have problems?" she joked, trying to lighten the mood and advert the topic of conversation away from herself.

"Seriously, Alex," she prodded, furrowing her brow slightly. "I'm sorry. I'm sure your life isn't perfect, especially when someone like me drops in randomly and has all these weird powers."

"What do you mean someone like you? Kara, you're—"

"No, don't. See? There it is. It's something about me. I wanna know about you. You matter, too. What's going on in your life?"

"I'm fine, really," Alex insisted, doing her best to maintain eye contact. "It's fine. We don't need to talk about me. Can we talk about something else, please?"

"Alex—"

"Please?" she repeated, silently pleading her to let it go. "I'm seriously fine. Just teenage hormones or whatever."

Kara studied her sister for a moment through slightly-narrowed eyes. She didn't buy it, but if she really didn't want to talk, she couldn't make her. "Fine," she sighed.

A tense awkwardness hung in the air, one that neither of them wanted to be there, but neither knew how to break.

"Sooo, who do you like?" Kara finally asked, attempting to lessen the discomfort. Talking about boys was always a fun topic.

"What?"

"Who do you like," she repeated, "as in boys?"

"I, uh..." Alex paused. Boys? Alex was pretty sure she didn't like boys—not like _that_ , anyways. When she thought about it harder, she realized she never really had a "boy crazy" stage, nor had she ever had much interest in having a boyfriend. She had always written it off as all the boys in her grade were immature or not "her type." But just recently, she realized she had been thinking of girls—well, one girl in particular—the way most of her friends talked about boys. She wanted to tell Kara what she was feeling, she really did. But how do you explain that? And how would Kara react? Would she understand, or at least be supportive? Or would she think Alex was crazy or weird? Or worse, would she be disappointed? "I don't like anyone," she finally muttered, shying away from her actual feelings. .

"Oh, come on," Kara laughed. "There's lots of hotties around school. You _have_ to like _someone_. What about Marcus? He's super hot!"

"I guess so, but he's a huge jerk."

"He's not that bad! What about Devon? He's smart AND cute. Oh! Or how about Jordan?"

"He's nice, I guess, but he's a huge idiot. And Devon's too quiet."

"Adrian?"

"Nope. Too loud."

Kara laughed "Lukas?"

"Definitely not," Alex chuckled. "I don't think he's ever heard of a shower."

"Okay, I'll give you that," Kara laughed. "What about—"

"Kara, I said I don't like any guys," she snapped, a little harsher than she was intending.

"Geez, is there _anyone_ you like?" Kara joked, not really thinking anything of it.

She froze, her heart beginning to race. "I... Uh..."

"Alex, what's wrong?" Kara prodded, knowing something was off. "You can tell me, whatever it is. I promise you I won't think it's weird."

Alex looked over at her sister for a few moments, taking a shaky inhale. "I guess I just... Don't really like boys. I mean, I like them as in I think some of them are nice, of course, but I, um... I don't... I guess I don't really want to have a boyfriend."

"Oh, so you just don't think you're ready?"

"No, it's not that. I mean, I don't know. Maybe I'm not. But uh... I... I think it's just that I don't like boys. I mean, I don't _like-like_ them."

"Oh," Kara said, the meaning of Alex's words sinking in. "So do you... _Like-like_ girls?"

Alex paused again, searching Kara's eyes for any type of reaction. "I... Yeah, I think so. I don't know. I'm just confused by how I'm feeling. But I think so."

"Oh, okay! Well, that's cool."

"Wait, you're not mad?" Alex asked tensely, almost afraid to make eye contact. "Or... disappointed or anything?"

"What?" Kara asked incredulously. "No, _of course_ not! Why would I be mad?"

"I... I don't know," she admitted quietly.

"Alex, seriously. Why would I be mad? It doesn't change how I see you or anything between us."

"I don't know," she repeated, feeling her breath catch in her throat.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"I don't know," she said a third time. "I wanted to, I did... But I just... Every time I was about to, I got scared and said something else instead."

"Scared of what?"

"Scared of how you would react. I didn't want you to be mad or disappointed." Alex looked up at her sister. "I don't know what I would do if you were disappointed in me," she added, voice breaking slightly.

"Alex... I would _never_ be disappointed in you. I love you."

She nodded, a tear finding its way down her cheek. She quickly wiped it away. "I love you, too."

They were both silent for a moment, then Kara realized something. "I think I owe you an apology."

"For what?" Alex asked, confused at what Kara could possibly be apologizing for now.

She took a moment to think, not wanting to mess up. "For... not creating an environment where you felt like you could talk to me about this. Like I said earlier, it's always been all about me."

"You didn't do anything wrong," she reassured. Sure, she had resented Kara a bit for all the attention she got, but she knew Kara never really did anything to deserve the resentment. She was actually a pretty hard person to dislike.

"You can always tell when something's wrong with me," Kara said. "I should've known something was bothering you."

Alex shrugged. "It's okay, Kara. I guess I didn't really know something was bothering me, either, for a while."

"I know this isn't the same," Kara murmured after a few moments, "but I know how it feels to... To keep a part of yourself hidden away from everyone else. I know how lonely that feels. It's like nobody really understands you, no matter how much you try."

She nodded, tears again welling up in her eyes. She looked away for a moment and took several shaky breaths, then turned back to her sister. "It is lonely," she agreed. "And I guess I feel alone a lot, too." She had to pause again, unsure why so much emotion was bubbling up right now. "I can't do this without you, Kara," she squeaked quietly, giving up on trying to hold the tears back.

Kara grabbed Alex's hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "You don't have to," she assured with a smile.

"Thank you," she managed, a genuine smile on her face. Kara reached over and pulled her into a hug, and she happily hugged her back.

"So, do you like a girl right now?" Kara asked as they pulled away.

Alex laughed, wiping at her eyes. "Yeah, I... You know Vicki, right? Vicki Donahue?"

"Yeah, I know her. Your best friend, right? Do you... like her?"

"I... Yeah, I think so... I don't know. I like spending time with her, and I like sleeping over at her house. But uh, we don't usually sleep on the floor or anything. We, uh... I usually sleep in her bed... With her. And I, I think I'm starting to feel something for her. And it's scaring me. I don't even think she likes girls like that, and I... I don't know what to do. I'm just scared."

Kara wrapped her arm around her sister. "You'll figure it out," she reassured. "You're smart."

"Thanks," she smiled, resting her head on Kara's shoulder.

They sat like that for a while. Sometimes they talked off and on, and sometimes they just sat there, staring out at their yard and the sky above. They sat there for so long, in fact, that they started to see the beginnings of the sun peaking up through the darkness.

"I guess we should probably go to bed," Alex finally said after an extended silence. "Mom and dad will be mad if we're both tired and crabby tomorrow."

"Yeah, probably," Kara laughed. They both stood and crawled back in through their window, quietly closing it behind them and shutting the curtains.

They each crawled into their beds, and just before Kara turned off the lamp, Alex said, "Thanks for listening."

Kara smiled. "You're welcome."


End file.
